A new beginning

Oh wow! DTS is over!! It's over....

I really don't know what to say. I have such mixed feelings about this. I feel like a guy who has to do a sync dive jump in a few moments. On one hand, he is preparing to do something that he loves doing and that he has passion for. On the other hand, he is scared that something might go wrong in the unknown seconds of the imminent future. What now?

I have learned so much during the past five months! It had been the best time in my life, because I walked so closely with God and I learned so much more about him and about myself during this walk. But that I will discuss in my newsletter. Here I would like to share about my feelings - the mixed up part.

First of all, since there is so much change waiting for me in the future, i became tense and I am a bit grumpy now. I pray that God will not allow me to say or do something nasty to one of my dear DTS friends. I pray that God will give me grace to be gracious to others, not to be emotional. Then there is thinking. Thinking! Constant THINKING!!! It feels like i am writing an MSc again - my thoughts are racing faster that wild horses across the prairies! There is so much to do int the next 2 months before I will be going to Ukraine, I do not even know how I will do all that! And in the middle of it all I still need to see Jesus - that's probably one of my biggest worries. God, I pray that I will not lose anything as i enter the new phase of my life. I pray that Your Loving Hand will strengthen me and not allow me to pull a shell over my head, but to remain open and receptive, just like I was here on the DTS in YWAM.

Then I also came to realize that there is a special anointing upon my life. So many times I just happen to be in the right place at the right time! And God is using me in an amazing way!! A few days ago I was led to give a word of encouragement to one of my friends here on the base. As we spoke I discovered that her struggles were almost like my own in the past, so i could share some of my personal testimony with her and relate to her very well. The words God spoke through me - I don't remember what it was but it was awesome - greatly built her up and she is looking much better now! Praise the LORD!!

This is what I hope to carry over into the future - not just sweet memories, but all that I have learned, all that the Holy Spirit had taught me. Man, talking about memories - I am going to miss so many things!!! Our staff, my DTS friends, my friends on the base in Worcester, even the food! It was the longest ever that I did not have to cook for myself since I left my parents' home. And I actually gained some weight! I will miss all the spiritual battles we had together, all the fun times and all the encouragement I had received here. I will miss the quiet times on the open field under the skies I had so often! I will miss Worcester DTS 2010........... ;-(

So yeah, now as my destiny goes into a new gear, I am standing on my knees, embracing the change. I cannot do that on my own - I am asking for your prayers. And I surely need Jesus, always...