The touch of Holy Spirit

Hello my dear friends! :)

The past week had been indescribable! I had experienced God like never before. Truly, if we think that we know or understand God in some way or another, He comes with a totally unexpected approach and shatters all our understanding to dust!

For those of you who heard bad stories about the "anointing" of the Holy Spirit: I am extremely skeptical and cautious when it comes to spiritual gifts and all sorts of manifestations. So last week I was praying a lot and always remained in the presence of God, making sure I am safe from lies or deception. Not to mention the Word of God which is in my right hand...

On Tuesday night our leaders were praying for us. So I just told God that if the fruits of these prayers are from Him that I welcome it with open arms because I would love to have more of Him. And then I began to laugh! It was not a bad laugh but I could not really stop! It felt like someone else was laughing inside of me! It was very funny and I felt so good! The authentic joy of God, the same feeling that I always experience in my quiet times when praying and talking to the Holy spirit, had now surrounded me in public and I just slid on the floor from my chair, laid on my back and enjoyed the feeling of heavenly bliss! Later on the laughing subsided but I was still giggling, for about another 2-3 hours! You all know that if e.g. someone would tell you a joke that you really liked then you would laugh at it long after you heard it. So it was with me, thank you Jesus!

Some of my friends got touched as well - and I know they were NOT faking it! It was very weird to see them laughing just like me for no reason at all. Another girl got deliverance - she was screaming and crying and grabbing onto another lady in the congregation and finally passed out. Later she told the whole YWAM that she was fighting for her life and it was dark and she was crying because she felt all the rejection and pain of her past coming down on her and she screamed for love. Later she said she felt Jesus reach out to her and remove her pain and she received peace. She is changing now before my eyes and I am very grateful to God! :)

I am also grateful for amazing people that God has placed in my life this season! They love me in a way that is very different from what I used to be loved before I came to YWAM - so I am still getting used to it. Today, for example, two of them simply came to sit with me for a minute just to say "Hello". I at once suspected that they want a favor or something from me - since it was the attitude of all people in my life before. Nobody ever came to sit with me for a few minutes simply because they wanted to sit with me. So I still freak out sometimes and it feels like I want to cry because it really touches me. This world here at YWAM is so much different from the circles I used to revolve in before. Here everyone spends time with everyone and is not ashamed to express their love and appreciation for each other. No manners, no limitations, no racism or prejudice - just open brotherly love of Christ! Really, you have to be a part of YWAM DTS to actually experience it!!!



This morning's church service was also fantastic. The pastor spoke about storms in our lives and said that they are normally not predictable so we always have to be ready for these. When such storm hits, a quick panic prayer probably will not be effective if you are not serious in your relationship with God. And while in the middle of a storm, we can't really do anything, except pray and hold on to Jesus, because He is the One Who can turn it all to the good of us who believe and trust Him. Oh, Jesus, I love you so much!!!

Oh yeah, before I forget... Last friday we went clubbing... at our YWAM base! And we danced with Gospel songs, WOW! It was ama-zing! Brazilian, Korean, English and many other songs and tunes were played that night! They even played some of the clubbing music that I really like! I was jumping and dancing for 2 solid hours 'till my knees began to hurt. Well, not just me - our whole DTS class!!! I can't believe they all like the same music I do - plus they LOVE dancing! I haven't even imagined that being a Christian can be so much fun! We had a great time here, thank be to God!!

God bless you all and let your life be a reflection of Jesus' life for all others!
Love, Dima.

"Be sensitive to the leading of My Spirit, for you are entering a time when you can truly put an end to procrastination and tie up loose ends. I am surrounding My people with an extraordinary measure of favor and grace to do all that is necessary. As soon as you choose to be done with the things that have overwhelmed you, the burden of heaviness will lift and you will be free to move forward. I will enhance and accelerate your every effort, says the Lord, but you must take the first step."

Hebrews 12:12-13 Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.

WOW! look what I got today! I am fed up with the victim mentality in the area of my finances!! The whole time I felt like a loser trying to make some money and never being able to. So I DID procrastinate the fund raising a lot - until tonight, when I got sucha beautiful encouragement from God! :)

Tomorrow I will make sure I begin at least three fund-raising projects!!! God is good and He is on my side - thank you, Jesus!!! Please pray that the funds will come through - I need about $3,500 US dollars. It sounds a lot, but god is bigger that the problems I am facing! Just tonight we did a find-raising call on our YWAM base for 3 ladies that are called by God to Haiti - we raised over $5000!!! God is good - never forget that!! Let's pray!!

God's Voice....

Wow, I think I am actually starting to hear God ore clearly!! I am very very VERY excited!! Yesterday I got these prophetic words:
"This is a new day, which will be absolutely exhilarating both naturally and supernaturally, but you must relinquish your claim of personal injustice and all that holds your back, says the Lord. "
This was spot-on the theme for this week's topic we handled - personal counseling and spiritual freedom. This week has been simply amazing and indescribable, so to say! Everything I had learned about emotional pain, abuse, mental blocks, life scars and other evil that does not belong in human hearts - everything was outlined this week by our staff. I was so emotional at times I even cried in front of everyone! But I was not uneasy about it, well, simply because everyone around me was just as emotionally disturbed as I was, if not to a greater extend.

Personally for me this week was a week of reviewing myself - all the pain and rejection and misunderstandings I had been through, all the junk and cultural and traditional stuff that was hammered into my head about me as a person. It all is now busy falling off like scales from a fish! I actually feel so much better, not only because I was able to confess so much darkness from my heart to those who genuinely love me and care about me, but also to notice that most of my friends struggle with the same problems in their hearts. Truly a liberating experience!

I sincerely pray that this week will always remain at the base of my relationship with God - perfect, unblemished and simply excellent, just like Yeshua had with God. I believe that all that I am going through lately is a cleansing and liberating process and that I will be able to help others once I emerge clean out of this. It sure comes at a price, but oh my (!), in one week I became about a ton lighter - so isn't it worth the sacrifice?!! :)

Oh yeah, the devil is attacking me, desperately trying my weak spots. I need your prayers to help me cover them one by one. Just pray that the armor of God's truth and righteousness and salvation will be over me constantly and that my quality times will always be in God's presence! Thanks!!

Been away...

Hello, everyone!

I came to Worcester on the 6th of January 2010, but I am only starting to update now. The reason is simple - the past 10 days had been extremely saturated with the coolest experiences, amazing people and above all, only 24 hours to fit all that. So I will sum up all that I had lived over for the past 10 days and hope you will find that interesting. By the way, our work duties will formally begin on Monday the 18th, so I might skip a day or two after I labored in the kitchen or scrubbed the toilets. But I sure hope you will stay with me :)
P.S.: God is GOOD!!! People, God is soooo good!! :)

A leap of faith

I have been called to YWAM Worcester about a year and a half ago, in 2008. That was the time when I came to this mission base as a guest to visit one of my friends. Since then the Lord has strongly put in onto my heart to come to this base and to (at least) do an introductory course.

As with many of us who were called by God into full0time service to His cause, I had already established myself in a lifestyle where I had a job, a place to stay and all my basic needs were met. I really can't complain about anything from my past life - although there were challenges at times and I sometimes had to overcome mountains in my life, God was good to me and carried me through everything in victory. But now I entered a season where He wanted more from me for His own challenge - the problem of unreached souls.

When I first received a call from the Holy Spirit to go and serve Him in the ministry, I was 100% sure I was imagining things. Surely, I thought, God would not want me to give up all my life that I have built in His Name and with His help in the past! I stubbornly refused to listen and went on with my plans for the future. But the Holy Spirit kept pressing onto my heart, becoming more and more persistent, reminding me of many verses in the Scriptures that motivated others to become missionaries. Soon I had a big dilemma - I was now convinced that God would not let me go until He either had a "Yes" or a "No" from me. To say "Yes" would mean to leave the life as I knew it then behind me and to do something absolutely stupid and crazy from a logical, scientific point of view (which to me with my physics and maths background seemed a total folly). But to say "No" would perhaps be even worse, since I would not only refuse to embrace what seems to e the perfect plan for my life, but also turn down a major request of the One to whom I owe everything I am and have up until now. I was in a big fight, constantly praying, fasting and asking for guidance. The convictions for surrender became even stronger after God began sending me numerous dreams and visions about YWAM, as well as exposing me to people who either heard of YWAM, or were full-time missionaries there or at another place in God's Kingdom.

Finally, in December 2008 I had decided to accept the call and to take a leap of faith. At that stage I still had a year of academic work I had to complete, so that gave me a plenty of time to start preparing for my "exodus". Not that I was fully ready when that took place - but a little later about that...

Firstly, I began sharing my calling with my family and spiritual friends. Some were very positive and told me that their prayers are on my side; others, on the other hand, tried to convince me that I was wrong and that my calling was to continue working as a researcher, earning money and supporting other believers in various ministries. It felt like a temptation to remain in my comfort zone as a spectator of the Big Game, not participating in it, but only paying for the tickets to watch. Since i received a talent of a busy-bee, not being able to sit on one spot for more than an hour without a chat or a task, I prayerfully declined those suggestions. At such moments I also kept in mind the words of Paul in Phillipians 3, where he, too, like me, realized that gaining riches and knowledge is nothing compared to gaining Christ. Also verses like Matthew 16:25 and Mark 10:29 were constantly coming to mind, and I simply was not able to say that I believed the Bible but could not trust its Author and rely upon His faithfulness.

To move out of one's comfort zone is not easy at all - in fact, it is easier for a fully loaded camel to pass through Jerusalem's narrow gates!!! But as i read my Bible more and more, I was convinced that this is an opportunity of a lifetime like none other anywhere on the world - to serve the One Who created the world and upholds it is far beyond any honours or riches that I could have obtained from any earthly source. I am now thinking of two beautiful quotes.
- "If it is considered a highest honour to serve an earthly king, why is the service to the Heavenly King considered a sacrifice?"
- "I only have one candle of life and I would rather burn it in the land of darkness than in the land filled with light."

These are only a few of many verses, quotes and other words of encouragement i had received while the date of my departure drew near. So, as one can see, God was really interested in me taking this step of faith. Whenever my trust in him and in His provision would shake, he would always intercede, providing moral and spiritual support. Once I felt really bad about the whole idea of leaving my life to serve God and was doubting whether I heard correctly from Him. I went into prayer and fasting and God was faithful and gracious to give me a group of new friends that were involved in full-time ministry. Their appearance in my life was more than miraculous - one could call it a coincidence, of course, but the way how I got to know them would mean that I was pretty damn lucky, since things like that simply never happen! I met them by simply having a conversation about my faith with one of my friends. Later on she invited me to attend a Bible study group where my skills in Russian language proved invaluable to them, since they were busy preparing for an outreach to Russia. A few weeks later they invited me to listen to their testimony about the goodness of God and His support during their mission trip. There I met another group of people who were connected to YWAM and were very positive to help me and encourage me in my calling to surrender. I did not provide all the details of this amazing solution God provided to answer my doubt-filled prayers, but one thing that really stood out is that nothing from this story happened because I made any choices of my own - I was quite passive there and then and everything was just happening around me, unfolding in a most unexpected way!

Another time when I had a major discouragement was the day before I had to take my flight. I had a major negative thought about not being able to arrange finances for myself for 2010 mission, and that was the one major thing that kept holding me back. When I made a decision to become a missionary for Jesus in 2009, I began making various projects and plans about fund raising and financial provision for 2010, but they all ended up bringing me stress and disappointment instead of profit. I even tried sources like money investment and even gambling, but soon realized that it was not the way to go about God's business and repented. At the same time I began receiving verses about surrendering my own will and plans and giving way and freedom to God to do His working through my life. One of my spiritual friends received a calling to go to an outreach to Brazil and God provided all the necessary funds to her which was about 3 times as much as I was trying to raise. So i began receiving peace in my heart about financial provision. I believe that a major emotional drawback that I had on the day before my flight was an attempt from the devil to discourage me and to prevent me from moving into the destiny that God so carefully prepared for me. I was also fasting during that time and evidently the battle was intense. That morning I was very negative, and even on the brink of phoning YWAM and telling them that I would not be coming due to a lack of provision, thereby drawing a line through all the beautiful tapestry of God's care, provision and blessings that was woven in my life for the past year. Before I did that radical step, I went into intense intercession and was praying to God, pleading to Him for a word of encouragement or anything that would tell me I am still on the right track. About an hour later i went to check my emails and I received the following prophecy in my mailbox which I sincerely believe was directly from the Holy Spirit:
"I say arise, My children, for this is indeed your finest hour, and My blessings shall be poured out into your lives for you are living in My company; you are living under My outstretched wings; you are living in the time of achievement, the time of announcement, the time of overcoming. and the time of the defeat of the evil one. For indeed these things are written and they shall come to pass even as My word has declared."
I was grateful beyond words fro this encouragement from heavens that came just at the time when I needed it the most! That was the last attempt of the enemy to discourage me and the next day when I had to take my plane, I had total peace in my heart - truly heavenly "shalom"!

And so my life as a missionary and a full-time servant of my Master Jesus Christ Yeshua begins! Every day it feels like I am walking on water, even on thin air sometimes! But the spiritual growth I am experiencing every day is beyond any human description and is indeed worth any sacrifice of earthly possessions! I am looking forward to serving my Creator today and everyday, since all that I have is anyway a gift from Him and would anyway have to be returned back. And when I will meet Him one day, I know that He will be happy! :)

Intro

Hello, everyone and welcome to my blog!

I have always wanted to keep a diary of events that happen to me on the spiritual level. I believe that 2010 presents a perfect opportunity for me to begin something like this since this year I am now a full-time missionary for Jesus Christ! :) I will try my best to update the news as often as I can, sharing with you my testimonies, the miracles that God did in my life and visions that He gave and might give me about my future. Thank you for reading and i hope it will be just as much a blessing for you as it is for me!