The last battle

Hello! This is a summary of the fight that happened over me literally 2 days ago!

As most of you should know by now, God has provided me with just enough financial support to go to Ukraine and to live there for 6 months. The largest contribution to that support was to come this week from my part-time job employer, with whom I also did my Masters degree earlier. Now listen to what happened...

I expected the money to come through on Monday because that is normally the day when the whole department gets paid. When the money did not appear, I was on the phone at once! I phoned our administrator, asking about the funds. She replied that the money was supposed to go through today. So she promised to find out for me and call me back. After a while I received the news from her that the money was delayed (!) but that she "motivated" the staff somewhat and that now the money will come through on Tuesday! Ok, trusting God in faith, I waited another 2 hours. And the funds came through on Tuesday, yet to my greatest surprise, 25% short!! I phoned the lady again and she explained that it was due to tax deductions. I told her that this income is the only income I had this year and it is far less than a minimum annual income for which taxation begins to apply. To this she replied that I can claim the amount back from the Revenue Services, but only after they will have sent me their annual statements, and that only happens in August each year........

Now imagine how I felt when I put down that phone!! I was devastated! I still had a debt to pay to my parents for the air ticket and some clothes and stuff I bought for the trip. After I would pay this, and my insurance, and my dentist and and and.... there would be barely anything left to keep me well for 3 months, not to mention SIX!! What now???!?!?!?!

That evening I went on my knees and just wept. Again and again! My emotions were too strong to contain. I knew that it was humanly impossible for me to go and live in Ukraine now. yet i just gave it all up to God. I told Him that it was again too much for me to handle and that He should please please please come over and help me out here.

Interesting enough, this is not the first time I get into financial troubles when I have no clue how and when will the funds come that will sustain my missionary work. And still, this time was so much more different from the first time something like that happened to me. The first time I was in such panic I was literally "running around screaming", doing stupid things! This time however, I noticed with a corner of my conscience that I took the news much better. I was still desperate and down and negative, but it was nothing compared to the devastation I had at earlier times. WOW! God has really made me grow here in this area of my life and I am learning more and more to trust His Glory and Caring Love.

So Tuesday night I got up from my knees and went back to my room to continue my preparations. A minute later my dad walked in and said he wanted to talk with me about my trip and all. I was becoming very tiny inside, imagining how I would have to tell him about my financial crisis. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he said that he and mom decided that I need not repay the whole debt I owe to them, but only a little chunk!..

I was like... "Uh.. oh... You know its a lot of money you are not going to get." And he said: "Well, we are not strangers, we are family after all. Consider it a contribution to your ministry". So there and then I almost broke down again (thank You Jesus for intercession and prayers and lots and lots of peace I got from you in the last 10 minutes!!) - and I told my dad all about the taxes and the financial struggle I was in and how I was praying about it asking God for help! We both just sat there and marveled at how God has prepared the hearts of my folks in advance before I even knew about the taxation! HalleluYah!

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise."
- Hebrews 10:23 -

Like I said above, I had faith in Jesus and knew He would not let me down and He would take care of this thing somehow. Yet, I have to honestly admit - I was taken by surprise about where the help came through! It is easy to give something to someone out of abundance, yet it is so hard to forgive a debt to someone if your own finances are not looking up too well. It could only be God - only God!

So basically, I was shaken and a few hours later I was shaken again! So now everything is back to "normal" - except that the tax department owes me a nice large sum of money! Clearly, the devil tries his utmost best to stop me, or at least to inhibit me. Yet he is NO match for the One Who I am crazy in love with, and Who is in love with me - JESUS CHRIST!! Long live my King!